8:36A – I swear no matter how much I rush, I’m always at least 30 minutes late getting on stream. I always underestimate how long every chore that comes along with it (wig, washing toys, kicking the animals out of the room, etc) takes. That and I have notoriously terrible time management skills. 

9:17A – Just when I start to think I’m doing a horrible job in my shows, someone turns on their camera and I say the magic words that make them pop within 2 minutes. And he had on a lacy, black lingerie set on that was pretty fun to look at. Fuck bless the cross-dressing sissy men of the world. And in what is clearly an office (hopefully with the door locked) no less. Sometimes I really appreciate how deviant the perverts of the world can be.

9:42A – Talking with a new regular about the time I had to get a restraining order and almost stripped down in the courthouse lobby.

Picture it: October 2023. Brains scrambled from the effort it takes to escape a relationship with one hell of a narcissistic asshole. I stumble into the courthouse lobby because the cops that had to spend the last two weeks camping out at my house told me it was more than reasonable to try and get a restraining order. That morning I had just grabbed a t-shirt out of my drawer without even really thinking about what I was grabbing. It happened to be a lovely shirt that said in big, bold letters “POLITE AS FUCK“.

Immediately the two cops/security dudes at the entrance, next to the big x-ray conveyor belt that makes sure no one brings in any weapons, look pissed. I didn’t even place why at first until we walked up and asked how to get the process started.

“You can’t wear that here.” one of them snarked.

The look on my face changed from exhaustion to complete confusion.

“The shirt. You can’t wear that in front of a judge.” the other said.

“I’m just trying to get a restraining order and keep an abusive asshole away from my house & family…?“

“Nope. You can’t with that shirt.” the younger of the two piped up.

I’m sure I looked like I was about to either scream, cry, take off my shirt & turn it inside out right there in the lobby or all of the above because very shortly after that the older cop told me to just zip up my jacket and go on ahead, but to be sure next time I wore “something appropriate“.

I promise, it’s a funny store to tell now

Woooo, fuck. What a trip the last year has been.

10:04A – Fuck.

Traffic slowed to a crawl with people just popping in and out so I’ve started to just put weird songs on the entertain myself.

Like this one.

11:03A – A little over an hour and a half left of my first shift and things are sort of starting to pick up. Or at least I had decently long show.

Ugh. I’m gonna be very stereotypical cam model right now and fully blame the holidays. Just another reason to be annoyed with this time of year.

Cold, filled with silly ass holidays that equal spending money (which takes away from what people would spend on me, ha) AND it’s slower than a turtle fuck somedays.

At least in the slow moments I can work on finally getting my fan site up-to-date

11:31A – Welp.

My fan site is as updated as I can get it without seeming completely distracted and uninterested on cam. And traffic is still at a stand still. Pop in, pop out. Pop in, pop out.

I hope anyone thinking of making this their job keeps in mind that this happens to every single performer once in awhile. Sometimes more often than not. It’s not all fun shit and instant money. And far from as easy as I’m sure this blog makes it seem.

I don’t even have “potential members*” peeking right now.

Big oof.

*^{a counter that keeps track of the number of people watching who aren’t currently logged in or don’t have accounts} 

About to rock out to another of my favorite “god, it’s too quiet in here” jams.

Ya know I had to do it to ’em.